When the people start talking about their personal psychological boundaries they are likely to be misunderstood. Many a man can’t actually make a difference between protection of the private space and a mere egoism. There is a good feature of a human soul that is called sympathy. When we sympathize the other people we want to be as much helpful as possible. We want to help the other people when something unpleasant happens in their life. But the main question is that their life is not actually yours one. When we forget this we are likely to have our personal space violated. Each time someone is moaning at the phone ask yourself the following questions.
- Does this person really need help?
- Has he or she ask you for help?
- Do you know exactly how to help this person?
- And the main one: Do you continue living a full and happy life while helping this particular person?
The last one is the main because it can warn you if the constant solving the problems that you have nothing to do with can make your own life miserable. Of course helping other people is good. It is quite natural to comfort the others and provide them the required support, either financial or emotional. But the following factors will determine your own state. Helping the others is OK if….
- You are OK. If you decided to help your friends, colleagues and relatives your life should be in order. No one should provide any support for others in the prejudice of his own well-being.
- You have decided to provide the help by yourself. If you are imposed to do something the results may disappoint both you and the pleading.
- You won’t feel guilt if you refuse.
Help should be the way to prove that you are the indispensable person. It has nothing to do with the implicit selfish or lucrative reasons. And if you feel that you are not quite ready to rush to the others with the offers of your help you have the right to refuse.
Egoism is caring only of your own life without taking into consideration the other people’s needs. But if you help the people without any wane of you life. The difference between egoism and the wish to protect your own psychological boundaries is that in the second case the person tries to defend his own zone of comfort in order to be able to provide the necessary help if required. If a glass is empty no one will manage to drink some water from it.